Life's questions.

A question I think affects a lot of us.

"As individuals, how do we live without living how everyone else thinks we are surpose to live ?

Without alienating ourselves from said people?"

My best attempts -

To be honest, there is a certain amount of honesty that you have to show to everyone in your life.

By being true to yourself,  and if as a result there are people who you alienate, then that's just the way it goes. But. 

There's also a level of compromise that will always be in play on what you think your true life should be and what it actually is. 

You will know this from your family, and all the compromises it requires from living under one roof,  and multiple life lines running along side each other. Sometimes clashing with your own life choices, from small day to day stuff to large stuff. 

Something I've come to understand which helps me when I feel I'm bouncing between others views or hands in my life. Is that I realise that it is actually important for my growth as a human being. 

It's like being a parent, you never know the demands your going to have to meet, but when your sometimes having to do things that you really don't have the energy for, you are indirectly learning a certain selfless discipline. Which ultimately helps out your true self and your true wants/direction in life.

And in a spiritual sense in my own ideas of life, it's possibly your highest self or good that has set your life up the way it is, and the conditions, until you learn what you are meant to learn. 

I've read lately about getting lost in the roles in life we take on. 

Like being a father - so I have to be the "dad" in every moment of my life.

An example of this would be never being friends or form other relationships with your children or even your wife and those around you. Because you fully take on the role of always being right attitude, superiority, do as I say etc etc. 

It could also be work roles, male or female roles, or one we have manufactured of who we think we should be. 

The key is to balance out those roles without losing yourself or forgetting about who you are when you're not serving a purpose to outer factors or people. That May or may not have come about by choice. 

Being present is a very powerful thing, sounds simple but actually when you're serving a role in any given moment are you truly being present and sensitive to your surroundings and people. 

I'm learning lately and was only thinking the other day, that when we start marriages and families and there-for create a hole new set of hurdles/roles in front of our path to our truest self, it doesn't mean at all that we have to shut off our inner wanting path. But you can see if the roles we assume become our identity, then who we are and our honesty can be lost back stage. 

So it is still possible to live "your" life. Sometimes though the place we find ourselves in may feel like it's no-where near where we think that is. 

But I've found that taking stock of the cycle of repeating problems in my current surroundings, teaches me the tools to create the one I want to be in. 

It's my belief that we are guided through the obstacle courses that are exactly what's required, at exactly the right time. 

It also takes good time management, self belief, outer honesty and also understanding and support of the people who are immediately affected and play a part in your life. 

With the second part of the above being a constant dance between acceptance and judgement.

Because each of us individually has our own inner focus and direction to worry about,

and sometimes others who are close are affected positively by it or negatively. 

So really we are always in and out of what we think to be our true path, but it's this imbalance that allows forward movement in all the areas of our inner progress and also our outer roles and relationships. 

mF.